Mine Forever: No me without you (Sexy M.F. Book 3) by Lisa Mackay

Author:Lisa Mackay [Mackay, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lisa Mackay
Published: 2016-08-21T04:00:00+00:00

Looking For A Way Out

Cole and I sit in the empty waiting room while Max is taken for an x-ray. The bright, fluorescent, overhead light hurts my tired eyes as I anxiously pace the carpeted floor.

My throat is still tender from the pressure of Max constricting my airway with his heavy cast. Flashbacks flicking through my mind make me shudder. As I bring my hand up to my throat, I feel the heart-shaped locket beneath my fingertips. Tears pool in my eyes and the dull, relentless ache throbs in my heart.

Visits to this hospital have been a regular occurrence over the last few months. I know all the staff by name, and I could probably tell you their favourite colours too.

Knowing Max is in safe hands doesn’t make it any easier when the person you love is suffering.

The hurt I felt when he’d turned away from me, went deep and still lingers. It was obvious he felt ashamed about what he’d done, and yes, I admit it, when I realised it was him on top of me, and that it wasn’t a dream, it scared me to death. I don’t think I could survive another night like this.

It’s taken me fourteen years to come to terms with the horrific events of my childhood. The memories will always be there, lurking in the shadows. But I’ve always managed to deal with them, to bury them away in a dark corner of my mind so that I could function without them clouding my brain every time I had sex.

It was a survival mechanism. I wasn’t going to allow Greg Taylor to take everything from me. What he’d taken was enough.

Of all people, Mike had been the one who had patiently helped me learn to deal with my deep-seated anxieties. He’d waited a whole year for me to be comfortable enough to venture into anything remotely sexual.

By the time Mike had ruined our relationship, I’d become much more confident with my own sexual needs.

But it wasn’t until I met Max that I truly understood my own desire. He took away all my inhibitions, I wanted to share my body with him, completely and without barriers. The way he looked at me, the way he loved me, and the way he made me feel about myself set me free.

I love Max with all my heart. I’ve always trusted him and felt safe with him. How could I not, his love is pure and deep. But as much as I hate myself for allowing it to affect me like this, Max’s actions tonight have triggered something deep inside me, bringing all the suppressed and buried memories and fears back to the surface. Opening an old wound that clearly has never truly healed.

Max’s physical injuries, although significant, are thankfully not life threatening. But his mental trauma worries me a lot, and the fact that he resorted to self-harming again tells me he’s not coping with whatever troubles him.

What a pair we make. Two fucked-up souls, hopelessly drawn to each other, deeply in love, and bound with emotional ties that should withstand anything.

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